About Fast & Furious 6

The Fast & Furious franchise will soon be six films old, so you all know what's on offer. With the exception of the critically acclaimed Fast & Furious 4: Ballad of a Winter's Morn, all previous instalments have been an impressively dumb barrage of full-throttle, pedal-to-the-metal explosions – albeit a barrage that's padded out with endless low-budget scenes of mumbled subwoofer dialogue.

And now, following last week's first-look Super Bowl teaser for Fast & Furious 6, we've been treated to a three-and-a-half-minute extended trailer. There's pretty much no point in seeing the whole film now, because all the good bits will definitely be in the trailer. So here, then, are all the key scenes from Fast & Furious 6, without any of the interminable bits where Vin Diesel murmurs about logistics in a voice so deep that it causes involuntary bowel collapse.

The opening sequence, in which everyone gets to see the Vin Diesel sex scene that they very firmly didn't request. Please note: because this isn't an action scene, there's a good chance Diesel is whispering monotonously about blueprints into this poor young lady's ear.

The scene in which a man stands on top of a van and shoots it with a machine gun. Yeah, bloody vans. They've got it coming, the gits.

The scene in which, to stop this wanton van-shooting epidemic, the Rock gathers together the Fast & Furious all-stars. Five men. One woman. About three necks. One slightly awkward plug for Diet Coke. Together they will DO THIS.

The scene in which Vin Diesel and someone else have a drag race outside what appears to be Admiralty Arch (even though that sounds logistically suspect) in front of Rita Ora and an audience of scantily clad young women (even though in real life it would be spotty, male 13-year-old Max Power readers and the whole thing would have been stopped by the police long ago).

The scene where two cars explode and kill everyone on board, even though they were probably going home to see their families; families who will now be set adrift on the painful realisation of their loved ones' needless deaths.

The scene where a tank crushes a car, even though the car's driver was probably rushing to the hospital to see his wife give birth to their first child; a child who will now grow up with a number of catastrophic emotional disorders because its mother will always equate its birthday with the tragic death of her beloved husband.

The scene where … oh God. Why? Why do people have to die?

The scene where this happens. I don't know exactly what's going on, but it's a fair bet that at least one of the people in this image won't make it. You know what? Life is nothing but a cruel joke.

The split-second, almost subliminal scene of some sexy girls dancing in little skirts inserted into a montage of violent mayhem, presumably so we'll all start to subconsciously become sexually aroused by the thought of death, and end up committing all manner of horrific atrocities because it's the only way we think we'll ever receive any form of love.

The scene where an aeroplane explodes. Admittedly this does look quite cool.

You likely remember the rumours that Jason Statham was going to appear in Fast and Furious 6, taking on the villain’s role. It didn’t happen. Except it did.

Apparently, Statham has been cast as the big brother of Luke Evans character. Evans is the big bad of part 6, and a scene at the end of the film introduces Statham, all in set up for part 7.

Ain’t It Cool have a fussy description of the reveal scene but here’s the crux: Statham shows up in a scene taking place in the middle of Tokyo Drift, smashes up a car and then calls Vin Diesel‘s character with a threat.

Part 7 will no doubt recount his attempt to deliver on this unspecific threat.

We had heard that parts 6 and 7 would be interlinked, now we know how.

I’d be curious to know if Statham was ever intended for a larger role in 6. This seems like a good solution to his not being available. Relatively speaking anyhow.

Universal Pictures

The official ‘Fast and Furious 6‘ theatrical trailer has been released, featuring all the cars, guns and Ludacris fit for your computer screen.

This theatrical trailer for ‘Fast and Furious 6′ doesn’t offer anything radically different than what we saw in that amazing Super Bowl commercial. Just two minutes and 37 seconds of cars, guns, action and Vin Diesel‘s head — and of course, that crazy (and kind of suggestive) shot of a car ripping through the front of a flaming plane, which seems like the metaphor Michael Bay’s been trying to unsuccessfully capture on film for years.

This time around, Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) has been trying to capture a 12-man mercenary driving crew (that’s a thing? Okay), so he rounds up our favorite crew to help him bring the guys down. Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Sun Kang, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson and Elsa Pataky all return for the latest installment in the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise. In exchange for the crew’s help, Hobbs will grant them full pardons for their crimes in Brazil and elsewhere.

Oh, and one more thing: Michelle Rodriguez is back as Letty, Dom’s ex-girlfriend once believed to be dead, who is now working for the big bad guy.

‘Fast and Furious 6′ hits theaters on Memorial Day weekend.